You Did Your Best

Cover Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

Introduction

This is the first poem I’ve written since high school and certainly the first I’ve published.

It was written to help me process my feelings towards my mother who at time of writing I’ve been No Contact with for 14 weeks almost. I’m also No Contact with my father.

For a little context you can read more here.

Though it’s incredibly personal, I am sharing in case it can help anyone else going through a similar (and painful) process.

You Did Your Best

You didn’t teach me how to set boundaries.
Or ever attempt to respect mine.
You didn’t know how.
You did your best.

You didn’t teach me how to have compassion.
For myself most of all.
You didn’t know how.
You did your best.

You played us off against each other.
To get what you needed from us.
And divided us.
You did your best.

You weren’t always bad to us.
You cared as best you could.
And as I’ve grown I realise.
You did your best.

But as I’ve grown I’ve realised.
The harm of which you’ve done.
You’ve broken me in every way.
You did your best.

And now I’ve reached the point at which.
I simply cannot stay.
In your sphere of influence.
For even one more day.

I tried to be a worthy son.
And do what’s expected of me.
But now I know I can’t go on.
Putting you ahead of me.

I did my best.